A couple of years ago Hugh Halter provided some really good insight on coaching towards a missional leadership. Here is just a portion of what Hugh shared when coaching folks towards a different way of thinking and being the church:
As the church is changing, so leaders must change and the coaching questions we used to use may not fit the life, tensions, or reality that many leaders now face. I coach to incarnation not just proclamation. I coach to community and cultural engagement not just tasks of running a church of weekend Sunday experience. Every leader gets lost and blind in their own world and sometimes the most powerful way to influence leaders is by asking the right questions. Jesus did this and it changed history so consider browsing through this list and make some suggestions. Someday this might be a great list that we can all share.
I am giving you four key aspects of a leaders life that must be coached for a true missionally incarnational leader must be: Deep in Character, Clear in Calling, Culturally Savvy, and Able to Lead Inclusive Community.
Deep in Character:
What are you anxious about this month, this last week?
How much are your concerns stressing you out? How is that showing up? Anger, withdrawal, harsh words, criticalness or any moments of depression that you can’t dig out of?
Is anyone being hurt by the stress level in your life? How can you apologize this week to those you’ve hurt?
What are you hearing from God about these concerns?
Have you been regularly finding a place of silence to hear from God? What do you think He is saying to you about your marriage, your heart, the balance of leading people vs. leading your family?
How are you dealing with battles of your mind? Purity? Pornography? Do you need some help with this?
Have you felt any undue pressure to lie, or try to prove your worth to anyone this last month?
Have you been speaking well and praying for other pastors in your city?
What have you been reading for your own encouragement?
Do you feel like God loves you this month? Do you feel like He wants to give favor to you or do you feel like he wants to discipline you? Why?
Clear in Calling:
Are you taking care of the one body God has given you? What are you doing to stay healthy? If not, what are your plans to get going?
Is your spouse feeling “close” to you in your calling right now? How can you include them more in what you are doing? Do they want to be included more or protected more from your ministry calling?
Are you helping them find and pursue their passions while you pursue your own?
How often are you having time together without any ministry talk? What fun things have you done together this last month.
What types of conversations and experiences have you had this month with your children? What have you planned for this coming month?
Are there any aspects of your life that you feel must change in order for God to keep growing your influence or leadership?
What are you most excited about? What is giving you life and joy right now?
Who are you hanging out with that inspires you toward better living?
Describe what your “Sabbath” is right now? Is that working? If not, do you see any way to make the happen?
Do you know the names of all your neighbors? If not, what can you do this month to get to know them without being a dork?
Are you doing any recreation, hobbies, or school functions with the intent to make friends?
Tell me about some good conversations you’ve had with lost friends this month? Have you made any plans to invite them deeper into your lives or go deeper into their lives?
How could you bless the children of the people you’re meeting?
Have any of your friends invited you to anything this last month? Did you go? How did it go? Any plans to thank them by inviting them to something cool?
Have you done anything this last month that you may need to apologize for to a friend? Maybe not being more helpful to them? Saying no to an invite they gave you? Maybe being gone when something bad happened to them?
What are you finding is always good news to your friends? Have you made any plans to be good news? What is that?
Have you taken much time this month to exegete the needs of your community? Have you talked to any school employees, city workers or government officials? How can you make that happen or begin to help where they expose need?
How many parties have you thrown or gone to this last month?
Are you showing patience with the people around you or have you overstepped any lines the culture is giving you lately?
Have you helped serve anyone this month?
Have you invited any new friends to anything this last month? What was it? How did that go? Any next steps?
How many of your 21 weekly meals have you been sharing with people?
What common space, coffee shops, pubs, etc. have you been hanging out in consistently? Have any interesting relationships started to form?
Able to lead Community:
What are you doing to help nurture the lives of the Christians who are with you now?
Are there any people in your community right now that seem to be struggling or fighting against what you feel God has led your community to do or be? What do you think God is asking you to do to address the problems?
Are any non-believers moving toward your community or in their faith with God? How do you envision integrating them into your “Christian space and rhythms?”
Are the experiences that your Christian community participates in causing them to be less or more consumeristic? Less or more selfish and self oriented? Less or more individualistic?
Has anything come up this month that is a concern for you regarding the growth or missionality of your Christian friends? What are your plans to help them grow through this?
Is the DNA of your community clear? How do you know?
Describe how the spiritual activities your people have done this last month have displayed the DNA?
How are you leading your people beyond just head knowledge or doctrine but into action?
Hugh is the author of several books, including his two latest books titled FLESH: Bringing the Incarnation Down to Earth and BiVo: A Modern Day Guide for Bi-Vocational Saints. Hugh will be speaking again this year at Sentralized Dallas in September. He will be speaking on Incarnational Evangelism and doing two breakouts on BiVo.